GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--Nov. 6, 2003-- TerrorTechnical difficulties are simply those things in modern life that fold, spindle and mutilate when you least expect them.
     I won't bore you with the details of the past four days of "no publishing," but will suffice it to say that during the last 96 hours my wife and I have been daily going mad and madder trying to resolve technical problems hampering the publishing of the VigilanceVoice.
     The Beast of Terror lifted his ugly head numerous times and spat his venom at us.   At times, I crumpled as a prize fighter might to right jab slamming into an unprotected gut.  
     "Nobody reads this anyway...to Hell with it....forgetaboutit!"

     Through clenched, frustrated, angry teeth I hissed and cursed at my lack of techno intellect, feeling like a four-thumbed mechanic asked to repair the space shuttle.
      Our beautiful VigilanceVoice had grown from a child to an adult.   Its huge data base of 16,000 files--the accumulation of more than 788 days of publishing (or attempting to), and its massive picture files due to my wife's diligent and precious help in finding and strategically placing in the stories, had turned our website into a "monster of management."
      It grew so large that its big frame couldn't fit in the small space it was housed upon (called a server.)   We expanded the home of the VigilanceVoice so it could stand tall without being crunched.  It was like putting a full-grown adult in a baby carriage, and the carriage wheels were buckling, screws and nuts were popping, and the structural integrity was wobbling, refusing to move as we both shove and pushed.  We called Earthlink tech reps trying to figure how to get the site to publish.
       Finally, after countless calls and the slow, painful process of learning how "we should have" done things, we realized how to nurture the VigilanceVoice back into shape.
       Bottom line, we realized our "baby" was an "adult."  It was so big and strong it needed far more than the Gerber's we were feeding it.   Now, it needed "steak and potatoes."
       So, we finally got it up.    We even thought of cutting off its legs to make it fit.  That is, to take out a thousands of files and cut the site in half or more.  It would be like cutting of a child's arms and legs to make it fit into an old shirt because you didn't want to buy new larger sizes.
       While we discussed that option, it was precariously close to "child abuse" in both our minds.
       But, now we understand.  Parents have to grow with children.  The Child of Vigilance grows into a Youth of Vigilance, and into a Teen of Vigilance, a Young Adult of Vigilance, an Adult of Vigilance, and then, through all those rungs in the evolution of a being, into a Parent of Vigilance.
       We weren't ready for Stage II.  We got caught off guard.   But now that the Technocrity of Vigilance is understood, we are adapting.  We are allowing "space" for our Child of Vigilance to grow into an Adult of Vigilance.

       At what stage we are in is yet to be determined since this is a pioneering effort.   No history of what we are doing exists, so we are making our mistakes in Parenting as all of us do as we go along.
       But, we didn't throw out the baby with the bathwater.   Fortunately, all the words of the VigilanceVoice from Day One are still in tact within the site.   And, we have learned a great deal.
       In retrospect, I believe it is good to go through "growing pains" with Vigilance.    As authors and editors, we learned we don't have all the answers.  But we did learn others have many.  By taking the time to "save" the "child" we learned we could pick up the phone and seek answers.
      Our goal remained clear despite the Beast of Terror's wrath--to keep the VigilanceVoice as one body--to not dismember it, to not hack it apart.

          I believe in my heart that one day people will find the information we have valuable.   They will want to read and reread many of the stories, and realize that there is a powerful message woven throughout.   That means they have to have access to the end as well as the beginning.   They can travel all the way back to September 11, 2001 when the Vigilance Voice was first launched and read the messages from then to now.
        Our child lives, with all his and her limbs.
        We have grown in the process.
        Our child is happy, not just because he or she is whole, but because we realize the Child of Vigilance is growing, and we, with it, walking hand-in-hand to face the Beast of Terror where ever he or she lurks.

Nov 5--Terrorizing Ronald Reagan

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