We fight many battles in life, some outside our minds, the majority
within them. I am engaged in such a battle.
I am fighting to capture the Beast of Pain and lock him up in a cell
where he can no longer harm me. It's called the Pain Game.
Thursday, April 22,
2004—Ground Zero Plus 953
Battling The Beast Of Pain
GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--April 22, 2004 -- Battling
the Beast of Pain is not a task one looks forward to. It
involves great pain, for to find the Beast one has to dig deep into
the dark caverns of the self and shine the Light of Truth on countless
deceits that have corroded the soul, some which have been imposed upon
you by circumstances and upbringing, and others you manufactured
yourself over time.
These deceits are like acid dripping on the
soul, not unlike the corrosive buildup that chokes a car battery cable
and will starve the battery of its ability to recharge because the
corrosion cuts off the flow of energy from one connection to another.
Self deceits--denial, complacency and
surrendering of one's will to fight for the evolution of the self
despite the gravity of one's failures in life--will ultimately turn
one's life into a rut from which the difference between the rut and
grave is only the depth.
suspending the daily entries on this webpage to finish the Pain
The worst kind of pain resulting from
such a surrender is numbness....a sort of giving up to the fact that
the pain will never go away, and like some deep tooth ache, will throb
and throb until eventually you become accustomed to it and forget that
your body is being poisoned by the pain.
Three years ago I started writing a memoir
about such pain. It's title, The Pain Game.
It was about fighting the Beast of Pain,
facing it after many years of denial.
I chose to make the battleground for my
Beast of Pain the Vietnam War Zone, where I was one of the first
Marine Combat Correspondents to report that war, and all its tragic
In the midst of writing the memoir, the
Terrorists attacked the World Trade Center, shifting my emphasis
toward the battle with the Beast of Terror. I now had a
face--Osama bin Laden--to add to my Beast.
I also had a home for it--the Middle East.
I began to attack this Beast with passion,
hurling at it nearly 2 million words on this website over the past 2.5
Then, I realized it was time to revise the
Pain Game, to finish my book. To shuffle the experiences of
Vietnam into current time, to let readers of my writing live through
my own experiences how I fought Fear, Intimidation and Complacency,
the three roots of Pain and the embodiment of Self-Terror.
So, for the moment, I am going to
suspend the writing of this webpage on a daily basis while I devote my
energies to finishing the Pain Game.
This isn't to say that I may choose from
time to time to write something on the site and publish it...it means
only my ever waking moment will be dedicated to the completion of the
Pain Game manuscript....a mission I feel compelled to complete.
Thank you for your support.
Wish me well.
Cliff McKenzie, editor
April 16--One Nation
Under A Central Vigilance Agency