GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--April 22, 2004 -- Battling the Beast of Pain is not a task one looks forward to.   It involves great pain, for to find the Beast one has to dig deep into the dark caverns of the self and shine the Light of Truth on countless deceits that have corroded the soul, some which have been imposed upon you by circumstances and upbringing, and others you manufactured yourself over time.
       These deceits are like acid dripping on the soul, not unlike the corrosive buildup that chokes a car battery cable and will starve the battery of its ability to recharge because the corrosion cuts off the flow of energy from one connection to another.
       Self deceits--denial, complacency and surrendering of one's will to fight for the evolution of the self despite the gravity of one's failures in life--will ultimately turn one's life into a rut from which the difference between the rut and grave is only the depth.

      The worst kind of pain resulting from such a surrender is numbness....a sort of giving up to the fact that the pain will never go away, and like some deep tooth ache, will throb and throb until eventually you become accustomed to it and forget that your body is being poisoned by the pain.
       Three years ago I started writing a memoir about such pain.  It's title, The Pain Game.
       It was about fighting the Beast of Pain, facing it after many years of denial.
       I chose to make the battleground for my Beast of Pain the Vietnam War Zone, where I was one of the first Marine Combat Correspondents to report that war, and all its tragic circumstances.
       In the midst of writing the memoir, the Terrorists attacked the World Trade Center, shifting my emphasis toward the battle with the Beast of Terror.  I now had a face--Osama bin Laden--to add to my Beast.
       I also had a home for it--the Middle East.
       I began to attack this Beast with passion, hurling at it nearly 2 million words on this website over the past 2.5 years.
       Then, I realized it was time to revise the Pain Game, to finish my book.  To shuffle the experiences of Vietnam into current time, to let readers of my writing live through my own experiences how I fought Fear, Intimidation and Complacency, the three roots of Pain and the embodiment of Self-Terror.
        So, for the moment, I am going to suspend the writing of this webpage on a daily basis while I devote my energies to finishing the Pain Game.
       This isn't to say that I may choose from time to time to write something on the site and publish it...it means only my ever waking moment will be dedicated to the completion of the Pain Game manuscript....a mission I feel compelled to complete.
        Thank you for your support.
        Wish me well.

        Cliff McKenzie, editor

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