|Who is the biggest
Terrorist? Could it be a fat cell? Could it be XXXL?
Perhaps Terrorism attacks us from the inside out, killing our drive
and ambition, and putting us into states of adipose Complacency.
Find out when you read this fascinating take on America's lethargy.
31, 2003—Ground Zero Plus 506
Battling The "Fat" Beast Of XXXL Terrorism
Editor, New York City Combat Correspondent News
GROUND ZERO, New York City, Jan. 31--There is
an XXXL-sized Beast of Terror. He lives inside 65 percent
of U.S. citizens. And he's eating his way through their
Shields of Vigilance, one bite at a time.
Fat people aren't as Vigilant as thin
It's an energy thing.
Fat cells beg to sit. They cry to
relax on the couch and stuff potato chips in the oral ingestion
cavity. Fat cells squish about the brain, numbing its
desire to race up stairs and instead drive the mind to find elevators
and escalators to hoist the excess flesh upward.
Fat cells cannot pass a bakery without
lusting an éclair, or noticing the "all-you-can-eat" menus that flash
like booby traps, calling the once-thin to pack ponderous pounds on
top of ponderous pounds.
Eating in excess is a Terrorist plot of
nefarious nature, a kind of long-range strategy to cast the
Complacency pall on American citizens so they don't, excuse me,
can't, rise to the occasion and fight the Beast of Terror because
they are far too big and lugubrious to act.
Terrorism's goal is Complacency.
Through Fear and Intimidation, the Beast of Terror seeks to drive the
human spirit into a sense of utter defeat, a pervasive sense of
futility over being powerless to fight back. No more
hideous a "weapon of mass destruction" is that of the fat cell.
Once it incites itself to grow within an American citizen, it bullies
its way through the body consuming one lean cell after another until
all five-billion are bloated, elastic balloons that seek to sate their
hunger not fight some shadowy threat to the security of their nation,
their state, community, neighborhood, home or their Children's
The Beast of
Terror is getting America fat
America fat, dumb and happy" Terrorist campaign has been underway for
more than two decades. Just twenty years ago the number of
overweight Americas was half of what it is today, around 36 percent.
Today, just two decades later, the number has doubled.
There's being "fat," and then there's
being "obese." Obesity is up to 33 percent of the American
population--people so fat they can't put a standard car seat belt
around their Ben & Jerry's tummy, or tie their shoes without grunting
and groaning like a Sumo wrestler about to enter the
Even American icon Al Roker, Today
show weatherman, surrendered to his obesity in a final act of
desperation. He underwent surgery to have his stomach
capacity reduced. He was one of 63,100 Americans last year who
tried to cut the Beast of Fat Terror from his gut, but, like so many
who try, will probably fail. It seems most who undergo the
operation end up getting fat again.
Fisher fought for larger seatbelts for the obese
Not all fat people want to be skinny.
The lady who tried to force Honda to provide her with seat-belt
extenders for her Odyssey and failed in the process, claims she's not
handicapped by her excessive adipose tissue. "I'm not
handicapped by my body," Elizabeth Fisher, 42, a 350-pound computer
programmer from Baton Rouge, La, said recently in a Time
magazine story on How To Sell XXXL, "I'm handicapped by stuff
that's too small."
Accepting fatness and obesity is the
trend in America. Fighting it seems to be out-of-style.
America's noteworthy marketing
industry has joined forces with Terrorism on the issue of promoting
American lethargy--the end point of obesity--and started to feed the
massive population of overweight Americans products to promote the
continued explosion of their bodies.
Car manufacturers are widening seats
to accommodate the huge buttock of the buyers. Food distributors
promote on TV ads for super He Man meals. Furniture designers have
launched building larger beds, and chair manufacturers now construct
them to hold up to 500 pounds. Fashion clothiers such as Lane
Bryant, who specialize in the oversized, offer revealing styles that
don't try to hide the fat, but display it so the world can see that
"fat isn't bad." Half of U.S. women wear size 14 or
larger. In 1985 the average dress size was 8.
Fat dolls are being manufactured. The "full-figured"
replica of size-14 fashion model Emme has sold 12,000 of them since
October. The Terrorists are encouraging the children
to "get fat and stay fat."
Disneyland is bowing to the fat
surge. Trained employees sensitive to obese customers
usher them to wheelchair entrances so they won't get stuck in narrow
turnstiles. "Disney World may not be perfect, but it's as
close to heaven as a fat person can get," says Wanda Sykes, 33, a
health-care administrator from Atlanta who weighs in at 285 pounds.
A corpulent person, however
graciously presented, has a problem. Whether aware of it
or not, the Beast of Terror has taken charge. I know. It
In my Vietnam days, I weighed in at
166 pounds. I was six-four, as I am now. And,
if I turned sideways, I was almost invisible. My nicknames
were "slim" and "spider legs." I lusted to be big, but my
metabolism in those days chewed up all the fats I ate and spat them
out, as one might eject sour milk or a bite of rancid meat.
Today, I look like a paunchy retired
linebacker from the ill-fated Raiders. I'm big all over, thick
and the gravity of my flesh, while reasonably spread over my body,
drives my energy to achieve toward that pint of Ben & Jerry's, or that
delicious bagel slathered in butter and heaped with grape jelly.
and combat ready
I move like an oil tanker, careful always
to avoid being near women pushing strollers with little children for
fear if I were to trip I would pancake the child. My knees
ache under the weight of moving my torso about. My scales
frighten me, for the only go to 300 pounds.
Over the past three decades I've amassed
over 110 pounds, weighing in today at 276. I have trouble
crawling behind the wheel of my Taurus, designed I think for midgets
and people who swallowed tapeworms.
Nobody can convince me that being
overweight is good, or that doesn't rob one of many virtues--health
being the first in line, followed by self worth, and finally and most
importantly, additional energy to fight the Beast of Terror.
Oh yes, I diet. I binge diet. I
crash down ten or twenty pounds, but only to gorge myself when I reach
my goal with all the foods I love--Beast of Terror foods, rich,
greasy, carbo-laden foods that billow the fat cells back to their huge
size and suck my energy so I am more concerned with what I am going to
eat and when I'm going to take a grizzly bear nap than how I'm going
to trip up the Beast of Terror.
I find myself weighed down in the quagmire
of Complacency as a result. Food! Food! Food!
I think about the Beast of Terror shoveling
in my mouth all the wrong kinds of foods. His goal is to lull me
into a state of dullness, where I expend my energies trying to hide my
belly bulge, or to buy bigger belts, and how to squat down carefully
to pick up a coin I dropped rather than bend over and risk splitting
The Beast of
Terror is the seamstress of tight fitting clothes
No one can tell me this constant energy
expended to move my fatness about doesn't rob me of my Vigilance, sap
me of my Courage, Conviction and Right Action to chase and tackle the
Beast of Terror. No. I want to sit in an armchair
and have the Beast run to me, fall into my arms so I can tie him up
with the least effort.
I know the Beast of Terror isn't fat.
He is lean and mean, wiry, with red devil eyes and sharp fangs that
drip with his drool as he laughs at America's fatness. He
can waltz into town, taunt the citizens and run around in circles
safely. He knows no one can catch him because they're too busy
being distracted by bagels and Ben & Jerry's and worrying about
seat-belt extenders and the size of their bed, and where to buy the
"full-figured doll" so they can teach their children that being "fat"
Around the world, the people we are trying to
save from despotic leaders we call Terrorists must be laughing at us.
"How can they, those American fat-asses, claim to want to save us when
they are so busy stuffing their faces and getting fat?
Maybe they just want to conquer us and eat us!"
Oh, yes. Fat is Terrorism.
Fat is sating the Beast of Terror. Fat is feeding into
Fear, Intimidation and Complacency. It is the ultimate
surrender a society makes in its resignation, its social capitulation
..............on FAT !!!
must wage war .....
The great weapon of mass destruction, I
believe, isn't nuclear bombs or bio-chemical warfare--it's
carbohydrates. And, we shove them endlessly in our mouths,
eating Terrorism rather than banishing it.
Maybe we should wage war on the Complacency of the fat cell before we
If we don't, Terrorism won't have to worry
about Terrorizing us, we'll do it all by ourselves.
With God On War With Iraq
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