Protecting
The Vigilance Of A Child's Belief
by
Cliff McKenzie
GROUND
ZERO PLUS 1178 DAYS,--New York, NY, Friday, December
3, 2004--The
greatest gift a parent or loved one can give a child during
this or any holiday season is the treasure chest of belief.
Parents
who berate America in front of their children strip the
children's belief in their country
Belief
is the great weapon that neutralizes all the Fears, Intimidations
and Complacencies issued by the Beast of Terror, for if a child
believes in belief, he or she knows the Beast of Terror has
no power--no real power--to harm, only to scare.
But a child
stripped of belief is naked in land of frightening shadows.
Where does
a child learn belief?
At home,
where all the roots of a child's persona are formed.
When parents
attack and destroy things with words such as lacerating the
credibility of the United States as a great nation seeking to
do great things for the world, a child learns not tobelieve
in his or her country.
The child
starts to believe that "evil" rather than "justice"
rules
While the
parents may be lashing out against a certain leader they detest,
the fallout of such vilification rains upon the child. The child
starts to believe that "evil" rather than "justice"
rules, and that no amount of "faith" can change "reality."
The same
holds true when parents attack other people in the presence
of children, calling them names like "stupid" or "jerks"
or other critiques of their personality. Again, while parents
may not think twice about the acidic core of their conversation,
if the child is within earshot an uncle, aunt, cousin, grandparent,
relative or family associate or friend who is the subject of
the conversation loses credibility. That person now becomes
suspect. The belief the child held in that person as "good"
or "nice" is now scarred by the radioactive commentaries
of parents.
Religion
is another example. Parents who hold various views on religion--either
their own or others--and express those opinions in critical,
hostile, bigoted or prejudiced ways in the presence of a child--ultimately
undermine a child's faith in a power greater than himself or
herself that is just and universal to all.
A
child hearing a parent insult certain religious belief
suggests that God is discriminatory
Hearing
a parent barbeque a certain religious belief suggests that God
is discriminatory, and that the belief in all faiths as something
good now is delimited, narrowed, fragmented. Belief stops being
universal and becomes selective based on culture, skin color,
ethnicity or whatever criterion the parents conjure.
Then, of
course, there is Santa. Santa is a symbol of belief yet there
are those parents who feel it necessary to kick the legs of
Santa from under him and walk over his back to show the child
that "reality" is more valuable than "illusion."
Some parents
find it necessary to explode Santa as a myth
Such a
parent destroys the magic of belief by ripping and shredding
the right of the child to imagine there is an ultimate source
of happiness and joy who comes on December 24th down a chimney
and eats the cookies and drinks the milk left for him.
I found
it interesting the other evening while watching a Law &
Order program that there is a fine legal line drawn between
a child and an adult. In this show, the line was fourteen. The
plot regarded a father sexually abusing his daughter. When finally
caught, the father wanted to enter a plea bargain, but the law
was firm that such a violation of a child by a trusted guardian--a
parent--was dealt with severity. Life imprisonment with no option
for parole was the penalty.
The law,
in this case, punished a parent for ravaging the innocence of
a child. In the law's eyes, a no more egregious crime is committed
than to destroy a child's innocence. In this case, the dividing
line was under the age of fourteen.
Destroying
the magic of belief also destroys a child's innocence
In a minor
but nevertheless egregious way, stripping a child of his or
her rights to believe in countless things is a Crime of Vigilance.
It is Vigilance Neglect. It is Vigilance Rape.
Parents
who rail and undercut institutions and individuals in the presence
of a child are chopping away at the child's right to believe
when the child has no way to defend himself or herself from
the fact that his or her parents' comments are simply their
"opinions."
If a parent
were to forward such comments with an address to the child such
as: "What Daddy is about to say may or may not be true.
It is just Daddy's opinion and it could be wrong. And, I want
you to know that when the time comes, it is your job to make
up your own mind on what I am about to say and not be influenced
by my comments. I want you to use your power of free will and
free choice to look at both sides and then decide what you believe,
and never to just believe or disbelieve in something because
someone else does. True belief is an inside job. Okay? Good."
Oftentimes,
a parent's comments are merely...
The practicality
of ammending one's comments with such a disclaimer may seem
cumbersome and unrealistic, but if you put yourself in the shoes
of a child and think how many beliefs you had in things that
were crushed by "adults" and "loved ones,"
you'll come up with a long list of robberies.
...his
or her opinions
What was
stolen was your innocence--your right to believe.
In the
Law & Order case, the child had a right to sexual innocence
that was horribly stolen from her. A child has the right to
belief innocence, and a parent has a duty to not steal those
beliefs by trying to "toughen" a child up for the
"real world."
Parents
of Vigilance have the duty to foster "belief"
in their children
A Parent
of Vigilance also has the duty to foster and feed a child's
"right to believe," by urging the child to look for
the good in everything, including the bad things that happen.
If a child is to learn how to make sound, mature decisions,
the greatest tool a parent can offer is how to look at things
from both sides of the coin. Only when the issues are clear
can good decisions be made.
Believing
in things is the same right of the child as is his or her sexual
innocence.
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