GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--Jan. 17, 2004 --  One of the great crimes of humanity is the emotional gap that exists between a parent and child.   This gap is represented by the feelings of a child that his or her parents "don't understand" or "aren't in tune with," or "don't care" about the child's innermost feelings, desires, dreams.

      Historically, the rift between parent and child is a deep as time itself, and lends itself to countless plays, novels and other dramas that illustrate the hunger of the child to embrace and be embraced by the parent's innermost self.
      Last evening, I saw a superb example of the healing of that rift between a father and son.
      The scene was set in the 24th Century.    The drama was part of Star Trek, The New Generation series replayed on Spike TV.
      In this particular program, a two-part series,  Spock's father was dying.    Captain Picard, the master of the star ship Enterprise, was en route to a planet where the enemy, the Romulans, posed a threat to the Federation.    Spock, now a Vulcan ambassador, was mixing with the Romulans.    The Federation was concerned he was giving away state secrets for his visit was unauthorized.
       Picard went to see Spock's dying father.    In previous shows, Captain Picard had mind melded with Spock's father.   During a mind meld, the two minds intermix.  All the feelings and experiences of the one wash into the other's mind.    Similar to a "blood brother" experience, the mixing of thoughts and feelings bonds the two.

       The scene with Picard and Spock's father was touching.   In it, the fact that father and son had never communicated other than on an intellectual level was made clear.    The father, on his death bed, regretted not having a stronger "emotional" relationship with his son, something beyond just being together or doing things together.   There was a wall between them.  They had not touched each other's soul.
       Captain Picard and his team went to Romulus and found Spock.    They rescued him from those seeking to use his presence to attack his planet, Vulcan, and exposed the plot to wage war not peace on the Federation.
       As Spock and Picard were about to leave the planet,  Spock told Picard he was going to stay and work in the underground with the young people, seeking to find reconciliation with Vulcans and Romulans.
       Spock, still concerned over his father's death, was regretful he and his father had never "touched each other's soul."  
      In a touching scene, Captain Picard told Spock that all Spock's father's emotions were in Captain Picard's mind, left there through the mind meld.    He told Spock that he could access his father's true feelings toward him by mind melding.    During the mind meld, Spock would not only access all of Picard's feelings, but also those of his father.    They could, Picard said, become one--father and son--by using Picard as the intermediator.    

       Spock reached up and touched Picard's face.   The mind of his father and his own unified.   There was a sterling moment of unification, reunification.   Father and son became one, no longer divided by either's ego, no longer cleaved by differences.  The true love and caring of the one for the other flowed freely through the conduit of Picard.
        Viewing the scene struck me.
        In my own case, I was never close to either my father or step father.  I have no idea what feelings truly existed toward me by either.   All I know is a deep chasm, a great gulf, an abyss that exists now, as it did then, between me and the two men--one who caused me to exist, and the other who raised me from the age of five.
       The same is true, I believe, between countless children and parents.   The maddening rush of life sweeps away the precious time when mother and father and children can "mind meld," can become one with the other's most inner feelings, the dreams and ambitions of the human spirit.
       It is sad that we are in such a rush to "intellectualize" our parenting.   We may "talk" as Spock and his father did, or "argue" back and forth ideas and concepts, but how often do we "feel" the other?   How often do we climb into the mind of the other and walk in the quiet or cacophony of the other's mind, deep down in the soul of the child?
      How willing are we to take such a journey that requires us to expose to the child our Fears, our Courage's, our Intimidations, our Convictions, our Right Actions for future generations and our Complacencies that restrain us from acting properly?

       The same is true of those closest to us.   Exposing our innermost thoughts makes us feel vulnerable, fearful that our feelings will turn against us or be used against us, and therefore we buttress our emotions with thick walls and when asked, "How are you?"  we respond, "I'm fine."
      The Principles of Vigilance are a primitive effort to help a parent and child "mind meld."
      Under these Principles, the goal is for a parent to bridge the gap between the intellectual and the emotional.    By sharing with a child one's own Fears, Intimidations and Complacencies, the goal is for the child to return the honesty with his or her own true feelings.    Once these "Beast of Terror Tracks" are identified, they can be removed by installing the Principles of Vigilance--by talking about the Courage to overcome Fear, the Conviction necessary to reduce Intimidation, and how to take Right Actions that benefit the Children's Children's Children rather than fall victim to the Beast of Complacency.
       There are many ways to mind meld with a child or loved one.   The first step in the process is to recognize the obstacles that stand as barriers.    The pride and ego of one versus the other.  The lack of trust that feelings will not be used to hurt the other loom as castle walls inhibiting such communication.

       But, there is something far more valuable on the other side of the mind meld than the fear of it.   It is the "knowing of the other's soul."
       That's where the Principles of Vigilance have their most power.   If we are ever to protect our children from the Beast of Terror, we must guide the children through the labyrinth of their own Fears, Intimidations and Complacencies.  The only way we can ever garner their trust and confidence as their Sentinels of Vigilance, or teach them how to be one, is to be fearless in exposing our own Fears, our own Intimidations and our own Complacencies to the child.
       Children respect honesty, perhaps far more than adults.   When we expose our vulnerabilities to a child, and then share with the child how we use Courage to overpower Fear, and Conviction to battle Intimidation, and Right Actions to quash Complacency, the mind meld is set into motion.
       When we open our thoughts and feelings to our children, it is like opening the door to the darkness that a child keeps secret.   The light of our love shines from us to them, touching their inner selves in a way no toy or gift can ever do, for we are giving from the inside of ourselves.   Our gift is honesty.
        As with Spock, it takes the reaching of one's hand to touch the other's face to start the process.

       A good first step for parents is to kneel down and look your child in the eye, saying nothing.  Then slowly reach out and touch the face of the child, imagining your fingers are telegraphs broadcasting your love and care for the child.
       Often, the greatest acts of love are the quietest, where no word need to be spoken.  
       Thus, a true mind meld between a parent and child is often as simple as a loving touch, a signal to the child's inner being that the parent is the Sentinel of Vigilance, there for the child when the child needs to fight off the Beast of Terror.

      It took Spock a lifetime to mind meld with his father.
       Perhaps each parent who reads this can avoid waiting a lifetime to mind meld with their children.    Reach out and touch the mind of your child with your fingers.   Let your Sentinel of Vigilance wrap loving arms around your child and protect it.