One third of America's children are born each year to unmarried
mothers. What impact does that have on a child?
Is one Parent of Vigilance better than two? Does the child
born without a "conventional" father feel less than other children who
have one? What can we do as a society to insure
fewer children are born fatherless? How can we, as
parents, insure our children will not evolve into "fatherless"
parents, avoiding marriage and its benefits to the wholeness of a
child? Find out.
January 26, 2004—Ground Zero Plus 866
One Third Of All Births Are To Unmarried Women, Brags The Beast Of Terror
GROUND ZER0, New York, N.Y.--Jan. 26, 2004 -- The Beast of Terror
smacks his lips when he reads the statistics on the number of children
born to unmarried women. In the United States, one out of
every three children born enter the world without a father. (see
According to the Forum on Child and Family Statistics, a major factor
for the increase in unmarried births is cohabitation.
One third of
all births in the U.S. are to unmarried women
Between 20-25 percent of unmarried women between the ages of
25-44 live in cohabitating unmarried relations.
Ironically, as unmarried births
rise, married births have declined. During the baby boomer phase
of the 1960's married births were 4 million. In 1994 they fell
to 2.7 million.
Today, as the baby boom has
declined (during the peak of the baby boom years following WWII 36
percent of the population were children; today it is 26 percent),
more than 4 million births occur annually. One third of them are
to unmarried women.
between 1980 and 1997
There are over 70 million
children in the United States under the age of 18. The children
are parsed into three groups of 23 million each ranging from 0-5,
6-11, and 12-17.
What does the trend of
unmarried births to the future of the children in our country, or any
First, there is the
danger of having only one Sentinel of Vigilance watching over them.
|Is one set of
eyes or two better to protect a child from the Beast of Terror?
If one believes that a child
must be protected, then the issue is whether one set of eyes or two is
better to insure the child's safety from the Beast of Terror.
Are a mother's eyes equal to a
mother's and father's eyes to ferret out the blocks of Fear,
Intimidation and Complacency that seek to depreciate a child's self
worth, self-image, self pride?
The issues begs the question:
Can one Parent of Vigilance do the work of two?
It also brings up the issue:
Is there a chance the Beast of Terror can more easily infiltrate the
child's mind and rampage through it without the presence of a father?
One third of our children come
into the world without a legally tendered father. That is,
there is no legally recognized contract between the woman and man to
defend the child. There may be a moral contract, a verbal
contract, an emotional contract, but there is no prima facia
agreement, bonded and authenticated by society, that ties the duty of
parenthood between father and mother in the eyes of the world.
challenge the traditional man-woman relationship
In an era of "individual
rights" there is a strong trend toward people electing to act without
convention. Marriage appears to be one of those "rights"
currently under renovation. Gay marriage is on the
front burner, where the traditional man-woman relationship is being
challenged. Gay adoptions also are on the upswing.
Then there is the issue about Michael Jackson's "fatherhood" of his
children that is splashed on the media and questions flying over his
credentials as a Sentinel of Parental Vigilance.
What does this mean to a child's right to
grow into a strong and confident Sentinel of Vigilance?
What does the absence of a father mean to the ability of the Beast of
Terror to prey upon children?
The Beast of Terror preys on veal--the
young, the tender, the vulnerable.
All "beasts" look for the easiest victim.
Lions hunting a herd of zebras will try and cut the smallest, youngest
from the herd, realizing it is much easier to attack the more helpless
than to take on the veterans with big, sharp hooves that can kick in a
hungry lion's jaw.
In nature, the young are fodder.
Thousands of eggs may be laid and hatched in hopes a few will survive.
This Darwinian approach of the "survival of the fittest" applies as
well to human children as it does to the countless hoards of Nature's
But what natural defenses do a child have
to defend against the Beast of Terror? Who is teaching a
child how to convert Fear into Courage, or displace Intimidation for
Conviction, or shove Complacency out the door in favor of Right
Actions that benefit future generations?
What Principles of Vigilance are being
transmitted to the children? And, by whom?
When the child of a unmarried mother looks
around, he or she is outnumbered by three to one by his or her peers
who have conventional mothers and fathers.
What impact does that have on the child?
Does he or she feel less protected? Less loved?
Less cared for? More vulnerable to the wiles of the Emotional
jungle where he or she feels like an outcast, a marginalized half of
what appears to the child to be a whole (mother/father team)
surrounding him or her?
unmarried mothers are usually left with a "father" vacuum
Unmarried mothers, no doubt, have
challenges that married mothers do not. By the nature of
being unmarried, they must fend for the children by themselves.
The role of mother and father is put on their shoulders. The
children are left with a "father" vacuum in the conventional sense.
They may say they have a "father," but deep down, in the secret of the
self, they know they don't have a "father" who is bound to the mother.
I know that feeling. My mother
and father were divorced when I was nine months old. I neither
heard from nor met my real father until I was 21. When I was
five, my mother remarried. I never accepted my step father as my
father. I was "abandoned" in my mind, a child cast aside
by his father, left to fend for myself. I know the
sense of inner loneliness and confusion that must plague all children
when they see children with mothers and fathers and they know they
don't have what others have. The absence of the father
creates a hole in the child's soul, an emptiness, a void.
The Beast of
Terror can slither into a child's mind and strangle it
It is this vacuum, this flaw,
that forms great cracks through which the Beast of Terror can slither
into the child's mind and wrap his tentacles around the child's being.
The Beast feeds the child unhealthy doses of Fear, Intimidation and
Complacency, similar to what I experienced.
Without a father to bolster the mother's
Vigilance, the odds increase that the child may feel abandoned,
disenfranchised, marginalized because he or she isn't "worthy" of a
father, isn't "like" the other children who have--whether good or
bad--a "daddy." Despite all the "individualism" that barks to a
person he or she has the "right" to have a child without the convention of
marriage, the "victim" is the child. The child, given its
choice, would want his or her "mother" and "father" to be united, one,
nuclear, each there to protect, defend and help the child grow into
the full man or woman he or she could be.
It should startle us all that one out
of three children in America are born into this world with half the
Vigilance they are due. No matter how strong a
mother is, there is added strength in having a father to help watch
over the children. If nothing more, it creates
balance for the child. It gives the child access to two
different points of view, two different forms of love and caring.
A dark shadow
is created on a child's soul when he or she is half-loved
Worse, it opens the door to the Beast of
Terror to scurry through and set up camp. It creates a
dark shadow on the child's soul that he or she isn't loved by half of
his or her Creator.
What is the solution?
Part of it has to do with with the
Principles of Vigilance. The third Principle is:
Taking Right Actions that benefit the Children's Children's Children.
This means that if one is acting in an unselfish way, he or she will
do what is right not just for themselves, but for the future of the
children. The Right Action is to maximize the Parent
of Vigilance team, to include for the child a "mother" and "father"
who, each in his or her own way, provide the child with more stability
and balance than either one could alone.
Two heads are better than one, and two
parents are better than one.
The second part of the solution is for both
parents and future parents to subscribe to the Pledge of Vigilance as
early as possible in their lives. The Pledge of Vigilance
is about how one lives his or her life with the Beast of Terror.
Each of us battles the Beast in our own
ways daily. Each of us faces Fear, Intimidation and Complacency
in a multitude of manners during the 1440 minutes of a day and night.
Each of us has countless opportunities to convert Fear into Courage,
to exchange Intimidation for Conviction, and to alter Complacency for
Right Actions that are beneficial to future generations.
If we learn to live our lives in accordance with
the Principles of Vigilance, we build our defenses against the Beast
of Terror taking over our thoughts and subsequent actions, for what we
think dictates how we act.
By defending ourselves from Terrorism's attacks
upon our self-worth and self-image, and recognizing we are all
Citizens of Vigilance dedicated to the future security of the
children, we will be less inclined to bring a child into the world
without a father who has been chosen to serve as the child's Father of
A Father and a
Mother of Vigilance vow to protect their child throughout his or
A Father of Vigilance, like a Mother of
Vigilance, takes a vow of protecting the child throughout the child's
life. This life includes being there when the child
awakens and when it goes to sleep. It means providing for the
family. It means setting an example of stability, of love and
care that the child can model when he or she becomes a Parent of
It also means not being afraid to crawl
into the child's mind, to ask the child to share his or her Fears,
Intimidations and Complacencies. To do this, of
course, the parent must be willing to share his or her with the child,
to build the bridge of trust, to model the fearlessness of exposing
one's vulnerability to another.
see the Beast of Terror hiding inside a child just as the zebra
sees lions lurking in the brush
Parents must see the Beast of Terror hiding
inside a child, just as the zebra sees the lions lurking in the brush.
The ever-present danger of the Beast must not go unnoticed.
If parents are Sentinels of Vigilance, then they are duty-bound to
sweep the Beast of Terror's tracks clean from their child's mind, and,
to help the child battle the Beast on his or her own turf with the
Principles of Vigilance.
This can only be done best by both mother
and father, working in union, as one team dedicated to the children.
But in the absence of a father, a mother
can prepare the children. She can teach the children the
importance of marriage as a partnership between two people to guide
and direct the children to a better way of life. It
is far more challenging to do this without the presence of a father,
but it can and has been done many times. Extolling
virtues to a child can only result in a stronger, more committed adult
who can avoid the pitfalls life's journey presents.
facts are a symbol that we need to increase our vows to be
Sentinels of Vigilance
Still, the fact remains that one-third of
America's children come from unmarried mothers.
Perhaps that statistic is a symbol that we all need to strengthen our
Vigilance about marriage, and increase our vows to be Sentinels of
You can take that step today by downloading
and taking the Pledge of Vigilance. Whether you are married
or unmarried, the key is to insure your children understand the values
of two Sentinels of Vigilance, and not let the Beast of Terror brag
about his ability to feed freely on our young.